The Maple Blog- Canada's Revenge!
by Italian Nightmares
Summary: Canada has decided to make a blog for his revenge on all of the nations. Make sure to ask him questions, leave him a request, or a suggestion! This is multi-shipping! Yaoi! Future smut maybe! R&R !
1. Maple Syrup Shots

_Hello everyone! Canada here! It's really nice to finally start a blog! I've been wanting to for one for awhile now. Kumajiro has been bugging me. I guess it's a good thing, eh? Anyways, you could say I've started this blog for revenge. Oh don't get the wrong idea! I just want to conduct some... experiments on my fellow nations. Every few days I'm gonna try something new on all of the nations. Today, I'm going to find out who get's drunk last and first. I'm pretty sure Russia would win, but I let Prussia in my little secret, so he really wants to see Russia pass out. Anyways, I have this one bottle of maple syrup that kind of looks like a whiskey bottle. Everyone knows that heated up maple syrup get's really watery, so at the bar Prussia and I will be the only one sober hopefully. If no one finds out at least. Anyways, wish me luck! I will record everything!_

Canada sighed as he entered the loud bar. Prussia chose one near his house because he knew the bar tender very well and would give them free shots, the best beer and a private room at the back. It was Oktoberfest and Germans (_Prussians_. _Sorry Prussia)_ everywhere were having the times of their lives. He entered the private room in the back to reveal that all of the nations already showed up.

The room was nice and big. It fit all of the nations in just right. There was a large round table and one of those turny things. Prussia saw Canada and smirked. He already put down all of the booze. It looked like he heated up the maple syrup too. Canada promised him that he brought more just in case.

"Kesese Canada! You finally showed up! Now we can get this party started!" Canada grinned. There were about 10 nations. The former Allies and Axis including Canada and Prussia. They invited many more, but Romano refused to come and Spain didn't want to go without him. Belarus didn't want to go, but did ask for pictures of her brother.

Prussia grinned as he motioned Canada to sit next to him. "Ja! Now we are all here to celebrate Oktoberfest, the most awesome day ever! Anyways, to celebrate the cool me's favorite day, Canada and I thought it would be fun to play a game. A contest if you will. On who's the best drinker ever!" Canada smiled as he saw everyone's ears perk up like squirrels. "So even though I know it's me and mein bruder, I still think it's fair giving everyone a chance. This game is called Power Hour. Everyone has to take a shot every minuet for an hour."

Across the table, several nations laughed. "Dude, that's it? I can do that in my sleep! That's way too easy!"

"Da. I had vodka for breakfast, you think an hour of drinking would bring me down?"

"Fine. If you actually survive the Power Hour, you can join the Century Club with the awesome me. That's when we drink shots for a hundred minuets."

Germany narrowed his eyes, already suspicious. "Bruder, what actually makes you think we'd be stupid enough to actually drink a hundred shots in less then two hours?"

"Ve, But Germany it's your own holiday, right? You should be able to have fun for once! Ve, count me in it sounds like fun!"

"Me too, aru! I want to see all of your faces when your drunk!"

"Hai, I will take pictures. But the game sounds fun."

Germany sighed as he face-palmed. "Fine. You all win. Let's just play the damn game already."

Canada and Prussia grinned. "Ja! I already poured a bunch of shots! Every two people share the bottles in front of them. Canada and the awesome me will share, Germany and Italy, France and England, Russia and America and Japan and China!"

Everyone looked at each other and nodded in approval.

"Haha! I'm totally gonna beat your ass, England!"

"Bloody wanker, I can hold my locker if I want to!"

Prussia looked at the clock and grinned. "Ok... 3...2...1... Shot!"

Everyone took the small glass in front of them and chugged it. Italy coughed, not used to the strong alcohol. France laughed and Germany shot him a glare.

Prussia and Canada took a shot of their maple syrup and coughed, sputtering it a little. Canada shot him a mini glare. "Idiot, it's too hot!" he hissed. Prussia just gave him an apologetic grin. Russia laughed. "Can't take your alcohol already?"

Prussia shot him a glare. "No. It just went the wrong way." He looked at the clock. "Shot!"

Everyone quickly poured themselves a new shot and drank it down. Canada gingerly drank his, hoping it wouldn't cause too much attention.

After about 12 shots, America and England started to show the first signs of being tipsy.

America laughed hysterically. "Haha! Oh God England, you're so drunk!"

"Sh-shut up you wanker! I can't even understand you! You're slurring!"

"Am not!"

China rolled his eyes. "Aiya, Western nations are so immature."

"Hon hon hon hon! England, why don't you come over after?"

"I'm not that drunk, frog! If you touch me I'll fucking kill tie you in a knot."

"Shot!"

The nations slowly started to act more and more intoxicated. Canada made sure to take note. By shot 20, England passed out then America soon after him before he threw up all over France. France was not a happy camper after that, especially when he explained he was wearing new clothes, so he decided to take the two home with him. That left Germany, Italy, Russia, Japan, China, Prussia and Canada.

After 30 minuets, it was Italy who finally gave in the affects of alcohol.

"Germaaaaanny! The ceiling is spinning! Ve!" The Italy laughed happily as he fell over the German. "You smell really bad. Like beer. Take me home and fuck me, si?" The little Italian slurred and no one could help but laugh. Japan held up his camera, making sure he caught the moment recorded.

"I-Italy! What are you saying? You had way to much to drink. Th-This wasn't a good idea. You are going to wake up tomo-"

"Your loud. Actually, better idea! Take me home and I can fuck you! Ve, remember when I topped? You were screaming my name and you wanted to bring ropes in and-"  
"Italy!"

Prussia and Canada were in hysterics. The Canadian wiped his eyes and looked at Japan, still giggling. "Make sure to send me that, eh?"

"It will be on Facebook, I promise."

"Shot!"

After 45 minuets, Germany and China were getting almost as drunk as Italy. Even Russia was feeling a bit tipsy. He wasn't used to beige drinking. Of course, Prussia and Canada were fine even though their maple syrup was getting cold and thick. No one noticed however.

Canada quickly took out his phone and took notes. Germany was making out messily with Italy. No big surprise, but Prussia had to cut in because they already taking each others clothes off. He was about to escort them out before Canada stopped him and hissed. "Don't! I'm doing an experiment, remember? Wait till they pass out. France left before he was drunk, so wait, okay?" Prussia reluctantly agreed.

China was not a happy drunk.

"Japaaaan! Why don't you call me big brother? I missed you so much, aru!" He was sobbing with and slammed his head on the table. Russia smiled sympathetically and touched his shoulder gently. "China..."

China immediately whipped his head up. "Russia, let's have sex right now, aru."  
"What? Where did that come from?"

"Shot! Almost there!"

Finally, after an hour, Italy and Germany were totally passed out on the floor. Prussia kicked them a few times to make sure. He looked up and grinned. There were only a few left. Japan, Canada, Russia and himself.

"Alright! Good job everyone! You get to join the Century Club with me!" He raised his glass triumphantly. "May we live another 100 years! Shot!"

After the first shot, China just slammed himself into the table. Japan was still filming. "Well. That escalated quickly. Prussia-san, should I take him home now?"

Prussia shook his head. "Nein, just leave him in a pile with Germany and Italy, ok?" Japan looked at him questionably, but did it anyways. It looked like the three were in some awkward dog pile and they suddenly just fell asleep. Germany and Italy were half naked too. Europeans were so strange.

"Shot!" Not before long, Russia too was feeling it. He giggled hysterically. "China looks so cute when he's passed out!" He tried to take another shot, but he accidentally poured the German alcohol all over himself. He laughed again and pounded his fist on the table. "AHAHAHAHAHA YOU ALL WILL BECOME ONE WITH ME!" Canada smiled, but was clearly uncomfortable, like Japan. Prussia was enjoying himself though.

"Hey Russia, looked like Lithuania called ya." he waved the Russian's phone in front of him.

Russia grabbed it and called the small nation. Japan kept filming. Canada could just barley hear the conversation.

"Hey Lithuaniaaaaa. I missed you so much since you became independent. I loooove you..."

_"R-Russia? It's two in the morning. And are you drunk?"_

"What? Niet! I'm just merely a bit intoxicated."

_"... That's the same thing. Can you hang up please?"_

"I want to you to come to my house, buy a bottle of vodka, and some-"

"I-I'm going to hang up on you now. I'm not gonna get those things for you, Russia. Don't get mad?"

Russia looked at his phone bewildered. "He hung up on me!"

Prussia grinned and nudged Canada. "I'm going to take him home of you know what I mean. Sorry, birdy, but this is my first chance I'm ever going to top him."

He grabbed the hand of Russia and dragged the giggling man out. Canada grimaced as he held on to his stomach. He just realized he drank a hundred shots of maple syrup. He felt sick. Japan smiled and got up.

"Thank you very much, Canada-san. I enjoyed myself greatly. Did I win?"

Canada smiled and nodded. "You sure did. Um, this might be a little bit surprising, but-"

"I know. You switched your alcohol out with maple syrup. I could smell it over the scent of beer."

"B-but-"

"It's ok. It's impossible to have a hundred shot in a hundred minuets. I had fun. Do you mind giving me a ride? I'm a but dizzy.."

"Did you actually drink everything?"

"Hai. I drank everything you gave me."

"W-Wow..."

"Oh and take this." Japan handed him the video camera. "Make sure to put it on Facebook."

Canada grinned.

_So there you have it everyone! Japan is the ultimate drinker! Prussia just called me and said that he did get laid, but Russia sobered up in the morning, so I have to go get him before he starts to play Russian Roulette. I hope you enjoyed my little experiments! I have to feed Kuma, so I will see you all next time! I will post the video and will tell you what happened. Remember to tell me who to mess with next and how! _

* * *

A/N:

Hehe, how do you like it everyone? I saw these blogs, and I know there are tons for popular characters, but I wanted to do one on Canada's revenge lol. Most people end up making him Snapped! but I wanted something a bit more realistic for the shy nation. So, no PruCan yet, they have a bromance though. This is also multi-shipping! So leave me a suggtion on what Canada should do next!


	2. Canada's Ghost

_Hi everyone! Canada here again! So I woke up with a really bad stomach ache. I did have a hundred shots of maple syrup... No regrets though. _

_I went to rescue Prussia today too. He did top, but I guess Russia remembered. It was pretty scary. He was chasing us all over the house. But Japan did give me the video of everyone, so I put it online! I think Spain was the first to like it. Then France and Prussia. Even the Baltics and Nordics liked it too. England was pretty horrified. America was too I think. They tried to hack my account.  
_

_And I guess we left Italy, Germany and China at the bar. Oops. The bartender said it was okay because it was Oktoberfest, but Germany and China were really pissed when they woke up. Prussia went to pick them up and China and Germany tried strangle him. I had to rescue him again. Germany and China were really pissed. I guess Germany and Italy lost their clothes. And Italy didn't remember anything. He was mostly hung over. __  
_

_Anyways, my experiment went pretty well. I was surprised that Japan was the last one, but I was also glad. Today, I'm going to try to do another experiment. Japan was telling me that America gets scared really easily. I'm going to see how long. Kumajiji is going to help me out. I told him I'd give him pancakes if he did. I'm going to get the house ready. I already invited America over at 10. I set up a video too.  
Wish me luck! Hopefully everything will end well!  
_

America smiled as he knocked on the Canadian's door. He still had a pounding headache and was still pissed at the Canadian for putting the video of him getting drunk online. But, What's-his-face said he wanted to apologize and invite him over to watch movies.

"Hey dude! It's me! I brought the popcorn and soda! Open up!"He knocked on the door and it creaked open. "Huh. He left it unlocked. Well, he was expecting me!" America grinned as he walked inside of the dark house. As soon as he steppe inside, the door slammed shut. It was really, really dark.. But it wasn't like America was _scared_. He was the hero after all.

"Dude bro! Turn on the freaking lights I can't see a thing!"

Suddenly, almost on cue, the lights flickered on and the guy that looked like him slid into the room. "Sorry about that. There has been some power outages so I just had to fix them."

America smiled sheepishly. "Um, sure. Hey, this is kind of embarrassing, but what's your-"

"I'm Canada!" The Canadian huffed. He was going to have fun tonight.

"Anyways, I just got Netflix, so I thought we'd have a horror movie, marathon."

"Y-You sure? But what about the power outages and stuff..."

Canada smirked. "What? Your scared, eh? Well. if you are, we can watch-"

"I am not scared. I'm the hero, and heros are never scared!"

_Perfect._

Canada led America to his living room. America sat on the sofa and Canada sat beside him on a large comfy chair. He configured the TV and put on Netflix. He scrolled down the list of horror films and decided on Paranormal Activities. Canada could see America tense up, but he didn't say anything.

America was fixed on the television. Canada smiled as he jumped, then assured himself that it wasn't real and that he was the 'hero'.

Canada looked at his watch. Kuma should be configuring the power right about...

America screamed as the lights flicked off. He laughed meekly and tried to squint in the dark. "Hey, bro, that was kind of scary." He got up and groped around the sofa, trying to find the guy that looks like him. Shit, he already forgot his brother's name. "Dude, where are you?" He made it to the chair and horror washed over him. "D-Dude? It's not funny, bro. You can come out now..."

Kumajiro didn't know why he was helping the guy he fed him. Maybe it was because he was bored. Or maybe because he promised fish pancakes. That was his favorite and he couldn't just say no. He shuffled in the dark living room. There was a guy in there. Too loud. He dragged the sheet with him silently and began to set up the fish wire.

America froze. Did he just hear... A growl? "Dude.. It's not funny anymore! You can come out now!"

The light's flickered on again and America sighed with relief. He saw his brother from across the room wearing a white sheet. America snorted. "If your trying to scare me, it's not working. That costume is so lame it actually fun-"

America gasped and screamed as the sheet fell. Canada and Kumajiro made sure to watch all of the movies before America did.

"B-Bro! The hell dude! Where are you!" The lights flickered off again. America was freaking out. There was another low grow, then a moan. "I-Is that you?"

He heard a low moan. "What's my name..."

"Who's name? Bro, is that you?"

"What's my name..."

"Dude, it;s not funny Get out here and turn on the lights. I'm going to beat your ass!"

"What's my name?"

The lights flickered on once again to reveal Canada on the chair. His clothes were bloody (he used a whole liter of fake blood) and his skin was white as snow. He mouth gaped open with bloody drool dripping out. Kuma hid under the sofa. "Whats my name?"

America shrieked as he dashed to the door. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!" Canada had to stifle a laugh. He slowly got up and hobbled towards America who was desperately pulling on the door know of the front door. Kumajiro helped Canada put cinder blocks in front of it.

America was trapped. The zombie/ ghoul/ ghost was scaring the hell out of him. He needed to get out! "Canada! Your name is Canada! Let me out! I'll do anything! Last week I put laxatives in England's tea! I cried when at the end of Marley! At the world meeting I put catnip in Russia's pocket and let in a bunch of stray cats! I accidentally moaned at my prostate exam! I threw a brick down a laundry chute once! I pissed in England's shampoo bottle when I was drunk!"

Canada laughed, choking a bit on the fake blood. "That was you?"

America sobbed. "Yeah, that was me and I feel so guilty and I didn't mean to forget your name an- Wait what?"

Canada grinned, blood dripping down his face. "I'm not dead, America. I just wanted to play a little prank on you. I mean, I'm your own brother and you still forget my name."

America shivered and swallowed. "Not cool, Canada. First I get drunk yesterday, put the video on Facebook, and now this?"

Canada grinned as he revealed the camera he was holding. "Yep."

_Mission 2 is complete and went down smoothly! But, America got super pissed that I ffilmed him, so I had t call Prussia to help me tie him up. We already posted the second video. I'll keep you all posted! America is still pissed, and I think he fell over in the chair we tied him up too. Revenge is almost as sweet as maple syrup, eh? I'll see you all again!_

* * *

A/N: Hehe, yep. I totally embarrassed America. Let's see everyone's reaction next time, eh? Anyways, I'm clueless on who Canada wants to get revenge on next, so if you have a suggestion, leave one! I love your reveiws and they make me happy! R&R

-Italian Nightmares


	3. How to kidnap a Russian

_Hello everyone! As I said, Mission 2 (I'm gonna call them missions now) went extremely well! America admitted his most embarrassing moments! :D I posted them on Facebook while America was... occupied. I got 50 likes in less then half an hour. Cuba was naturally the first one. Does everyone always spend their time on that website all the time? He responded as soon as I posted it. Well, at least nations sorta recognize me. I still get a lot of 'who?' written on my wall. Mostly by Kumahiji. He tagged himself in the video. How a bear uses the internet is beyond me.  
_

_Anyways, Prussia offered to get rid of America for me, which was a relief because I do not want an angry American stuck in my closet for the rest of the day. He told me he blindfolded and gagged him. He then put America on England's doorstep and ding-dong-ditched. I think England would be a very happy man after France had a drunk threesome with them. During the movie, America told me it went pretty badly.  
_

_Prussia decided to help me with Mission 3. We both want revenge on Russia. Prussia always had a grudge on him, but he was pissing me off the last few weeks. He keeps sitting on me during World Meetings. Russia is the biggest country... Do you have any idea how heavy he was?  
_

_Anyways, I was going to involve America with this, maybe lock them up together or something, but I think I already scarred my brother for life. Scare tactic worked pretty well, eh? Well, Prussia and I were thinking of scaring Russia. Which is sounds so much harder then it is. He put Belarus on a restraining order, so we might have to think of something a little more creative. Prussia is thinking of something a little more extreme. All I want to do is make myself visible to everyone. I just want people to know my name, is that too much to ask? Well, I should go. I will tell you all how Mission 3 went.  
_

"What the fuck, Prussia?"

Prussia grinned from the Canadian's doorway. "You said you wanted revenge on the bastard, birdy."

Canada, dumbfounded, shook his head. "I meant like a prank or something... Not chloroforming, gagging, and tying him up!" Canada looked at the Russian at Prussia's feet who was flailing around like an angry caterpillar.

"Kesese this _is_ the prank!"

"Did you have to dress him up in a playboy bunny suit?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

The Canadian sighed and bit his lip. "Well what are we going to do with him? We can't let him go or else he's gonna kill us..."

Prussia fist pumped the air. "That's why we are going to take advantage of him! Threesome time!"

Canada sighed and face palmed. "Oh God, I'm surrounded by an idiot..."

"What? It's a great idea! Even Bunny Russia likes it!" Russia was squirming around in the ropes and mumbling loudly in his gag which sounded like 'I'm going to kill you all', but Canada couldn't be sure.

"I think he's going to skin us alive after..."

Prussia looked down and nodded. "Ja. Well, let's bring him inside!" Prussia took Russia's feet and dragged him inside roughly, bumping his head against the door frame.

"Um, does anyone know?"

Prussia ginned as he plopped the Russian on the floor next to the sofa. He was having way too much fun with this. "Ja! Belarus helped me by chloroforming him. I told her I'd take more pictures of him. It was her idea to put him in the playboy bunny suit."

"Well, what's your big plan now? Like hell we're going to rape him."

Prussia whined. "Why not? He's wrapped up here like a present. Let's do it!"

Canada glanced down at Russia. He was glowering and kol'ing silently in the cloth gag.

"Fine. You win. Your loss. Let's tattoo him instead."

"Prussia, that's just as illegal. I don't want to go to jail, thank you very much."

"We're fucking countries, we can do what ever you want. I promise after this, Russia defiantly remember you, let alone your name. Besides, I have this temporary ink that lasts two weeks. If you say no, I swear to Gott tha-"

Canada sighed, "Fine, fine, let's do it. Go get your stuff. I'll wait here."

"MMph mMPH MMM!"

Russia flailed wildly in his bonds. Kill him. Just kill him now.

Prussia came over with his supplies as Canada tied Russia to a table so he wouldn't move or get hurt. He was heavy and he kept dropping the Russian, so it took longer then expected. Russia's bunny ears fell off many times, so he put them back on.

"So, what do you want to tattoo on him?"

"Our names maybe?"

"Mein Gott, that's not original at all, birdy!"

"Well, do you have any ideas?"

Prussia slyly smirked. "Sure I do. Watch and learn from the awesomest!"

Canada watched as Prussia flipped Russia over and started to rip the tight, skimpy costume around the ropes to revel his bare back. Russia started to freak out so Canada had to hold him down.

Prussia laughed like a madman as he began to draw on Russia's back with the buzzing tattoo gun. Russia winced, but it didn't seem like it hurt him.

Canada gasped as Prussia revealed his work. On the top, written there was, 'Prussia and Canada were here' in a graffiti font. He made a terrible picture of the famous actor Robert Pattson with 'I 3 Twinkling Vampires' bellow it. He also made Belarus on his back as well, this time a little better drawn. On the top of his but was a giant, hairy, cock.

"O-oh maple..."

Prussia stood back to admire his 'awesome' work. "Pretty good huh? I like it. Get the camera, birdy!"

_So yeah. Prussia and I did a very stupid thing, but at least I got my revenge, right? We dropped Russia off and Belarus. For some reason, her and Prussia get along very well, even though he and sex with her brother a few days ago. I think he told her he'd help her or something. Anyways, she liked the tattoo of her. She posted a picture on her Facebook. I would, but I don't want to feel the wrath of the biggest country in the world after... We did enough. _

_So there you have it. Remember, never do this at home. Ever. I will see you all next time!  
_

* * *

_A/N:  
_So, pretty good so far? Thank you for the reviews and followers! They all make my day :D I tried to put a few things in there, but it didn't work. I think I will have smut in here guys, if you don't mind. Canada got too close to rapping Playboy!Russia. Leave some letters/ suggestions for Mattie! Love you all! R&R!

-Italian Nightmares


	4. Something Better Then Scones

_Hi everyone! Sorry for not getting on sooner! I, um got into a lot of trouble you see. Russia was not happy at all. Prussia and I were hiding from him. But he found us. Every. Time. You think a zombie apocalypses is scary? Imagine a huge Russian man in a Play Bunny suit (yeah, he didn't change the first night...), a weird dark purple area surrounding him, slamming a water pipe against my door and 'kol'ing really, really loudly. He broke down my door. Apperently he couldn't wash off the tattoos we made. We migrated to five different houses before we got the guts to go to Belarus. _  
_Anyways, I'm back now and Russia doesn't want to kill me anymore. He's not sitting on me anymore either! Yay! Anyways, my next target is England. Every time I try to talk to him he either ignores me or thinks I'm America. Or tries to make me eat his scones... Jerk. Since Russia nearly killed me and it was all Prussia's fault, I'm going to do this solo with the help of America. He finally forgives me._ _  
I want to do an experiment with England. So, everyone knows how terrible his food is. Especially his infamous scones. I don't really know if he has no taste buds, but America was brought up with England__'s cooking, so he's immune. Anyways, I'm going to make him try a bunch of different things and see if he can guess what it is or to see if he actually think it tastes bad. Let's see how it goes, eh? I trusted America with most of the food, and I'm going to bring some poutine. Wish me luck! I have to feed Kuma now! Hopefully America won't bring shit haha! Mission 4, here I come!  
_

"Oh God, America! You're just as bad as Prussia!"  
"What? You told me you wanted to do this." He grinned. "I even brought dog shit."  
"You _what_? Gee, America, I'm almost positive I said I wanted England to come here on his 'own free will.' He's locked in an interrogation room! Naked at that too!"  
"Half-naked. He still has his pants on. Oh look, he's putting on his shirt. Haha, he looks really angry!" Canada sighed as he looked through the dark window. England did look angry as he cursed and spat, trying to escape. "Um, why is he naked anyways?" America just grinned.  
"Did you know that Iggy is like, really into kinky sex? Man, that dude can really-"  
"TMI, America. Anyways, he probably wouldn't have come even if I did ask. Anyways, as far as our experiment goes, I brought my second favorite food which is poutine. What about you?"  
"I thought you wanted to see of he had any taste buds? Well, I brought hot dogs and I made 'em myself! One is full of dog shit, another is dirt, then with under cooked liver-"  
"We're not trying to kill him America..."

After about an hour of arguing, the two brothers noticed that England was scratching on the glass meekly. He looked like he was mumbling something so the put on the intercom to hear him. "Bloody... fucking... gits... I'm starving! I haven't eaten all day you know! Let me out!" America and Canada exchanged glances and smiled.

Canada explained to England that he didn't mean to kidnap him and they merely needed his 'amazing' sense of taste to try out their new foods. England smirked. "Well I do know better food then that _frog_."  
Canada just smiled and nodded. "Oh yes, England no one knows food like you do... Oh! And also, we're going to film you're reactions, eh? For, um, data."

America set up the dishes in front of England and locked the door so England won't kill them afterwards. The two noted which food contained which.

"So, do I get to know what's in it?"

"Nope! The whole reason is not to! If you know the ingredients, you might not want to try it." Canada bit his tongue. Crap, why did he say that? It was the truth after all...  
"Um, ok. So I guess I try this gravey looking thing first? I-Is that fries? The bloody hell is this? What is that _cheese_?"

Canada sighed as America laughed. Surprisingly, England didn't seem to mind the poutine and actually liked it. America was especially eager to make England try his 'special' hot dogs.

England sighed as he finished all of the hot dogs. America and Canada gawked. "Ummmm.. So, uh England, did they t-taste different? Which one was were favorite?" Canada stammered as he tried to hold in a giggle.  
"Well of course they did, my sense of taste is way better then the frog. They all tasted pretty bad, but this one was better then the rest." He pointed at an empty plate. "Wh-What's wrong? Are you _laughing_?"

Canada and America bust out laughing. "H-He liked it! He actually ate dog shit! O-Oh God, Canada! I can't breath!" America howled and fell to the floor and Canada laughed harder, causing his legs to give in and fall with America. Canada was full of giggles. "I-I can't believe it!" He struggled to his knees as he tried to turn off the intercom. "He ate dog poo!"

After coming down a bit, the the boys finally stood up to see a very angry Brit banging his fists against the windows. America went to switch on the intercom.

"BLOODY FUCKING WANKERS! THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING? IS THIS WHAT I GET WHEN I RAISED YOU? WHEN I GET A HOLD OF YOU, I'LL TURN YOUR BOLLOCKS-" America switched off the intercom.

Canada switched off the video. "Well then. How are we going to get him out of there with out him tearing us apart?"

_Another successful mission! So yes! England does seem to have functioning taste buds, but somehow they're different then normal people. It's as if he's been eating dirt his entire life. Anyways, England started to crack the glass, so we had to call in some back up. France was happy to take England away as we escaped back to my place. I uploaded the video to Facebook already. It seems my page is getting more and more popular! It was very exciting for this mission to actually be successful! The last one's results were.. different, but Russia doesn't bother me anymore! Well, I'm sure England can tell the difference between me and my brother now... I will see you all again soon!  
_

_A/N: I finally updated! Sorry, been going through tough stuff lately. This was inspired by a true story. I made my enemy a dog shit pie like in the Help. No lie lol. I alsmost got suspended though -_-; Anyways, leave me some love and reveiws! Mwuah mwuah!  
_

_-ItalianNightmares  
_


	5. Heels, Paris and Cameras

_Hello everyone! Canada again here! The last mission was a complete success! America got blamed, so I don't really know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. England is tearing him apart, so he's staying at my house for now. Same with Prussia. Freeloaders. Anyways, my Facebook page is really popular. Almost a 1000 people liked the England video! Of course, it was probably Scotland who helped me post it too. He's a pretty good uncle! Anyways, if any of you are out there and wish to help me, please ask! I'm getting tired of all of these freeloaders in my house... They're found my maple syrup stash...  
Anyways, apart from kicking my brother's and Prussia's ass, I've been scheming for a while now on who my next victim should be. So I decided to do an experiment with France. Seychelles, one of the few nations who actually recognize me, came up with a pretty good idea. Wish us luck!  
_

Seychelles smiled as she waved over and saw her friend Canada. She was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, and large glasses, so it was hard to recognize her. Canada was wearing his usual red hoodie and was carrying a large paper bag. "Um, Seychelles? It feels like I'm selling drugs or something. And why do I have to wear these sunglasses again?"

She looked up and smiled. "Because we need to hide our identity. Plus you look adorable in them. Did you get the stuff?" Canada sighed and nodded. She motioned him to sit on the outside patio of the French cafe.

"Okay, so here's the plan. France has been really annoying to me lately. As usual I guess, but I'm tired of not doing anything. So I want to do something that would really scare him." Canada swallowed.  
"Y-Yeah? What's that?"

"No sex for a day. And England's food of course."

"No sex?" burst out laughing, but Seychelles just pouted. "I'm totally serious. Look, we've both been former colonies of him. Every night he is _always_ bumping nasties with someone. Or masturbating, I can't really tell. I just know that he scarred me for life when I was young."  
Canada thought for a moment. It was true, every time France visited when he was little, he was always doing it. When he was about nine, he walked in on France when he was violating his old teddy bear. Or rather, France didn't notice that Canada was in the same room. "Okay. Let's do this shit."

Seychelles took the bag from Canada and eximned the contents and nodded. People around them gave the two weird looks. There were ropes, roses, a small photo-shopped photo of England (courtesy of Hong Kong), some scones and fish 'n chips England himself made, and a UsUk doujin that Hungary drew for them. Perfect. "Okay, here's the plan, mon ami. We sneak up on France, bait him in the motel room I paid for. We tackle him and tie him up. We put some cameras up and put the food in front of him. He see how long he could last. When he breaks, we take him out, okay?"

Canada nodded. "Then why did we need this porn book or whatever-it's-called and the photo?" Seychelles smiled.  
"To tease him. We'll paste the image on the wall and leave the doujin on the table. See how desperately he wants it." Canada smiled with her. Oh this would be fun.

Canada whined. "Why do I have to be the bait again?" He sighed as he looked at the tight, red dress he was wearing along with the strappy, 8-inch stilettos. Not to mention the brunette wig he wore was itchy as hell. And the fake boobs. _Especially_ the fake boobs.  
She looked up from her masterpiece. "Because I said so. Oh my gosh you look so cute! Damn, you look better in heels then I do!" She giggled and applied more make-up.

"Ok, mon ami! You look great! Now remember the plan? Lead France into the motel room, I tackle him, you join, and then the rest is up to you, got it? I have another motel room for us so we can watch from the cameras." Canada nodded then stumbled a bit in the heels.

"Um, how do you walk in these?"

Seychelles shrugged. "Beats me. Oh look, there he is!" She peeked from the alleyway they were hiding from and pushed him out. "Go get 'im tiger!"

Canada yelped as he was thrust out of the alleyway. At least he caught France's attention. Oh God, he was looking at him. He's actually coming over! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God Oh G-

"Bounjour, mon cher, you look lost. Is this your first time in Paris?" Canada swallowed. How the _fuck_ did Seychelles convince him to get in a dress? _Lead him to the motel, that's all you have to do._ Canada stifled a gasp as he France started to kiss his hand. He looked over and saw Seychelles in here huge sunglasses, passing them, and giving Canada a thumbs up. He was going to get her back one day.

"Um, yes actually. You seem to know your way around here." Canada made his voice as high as possible.

"Honhonhonhon, you bet I do, petite fleur. So did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" _Oh God don't tell me he-_

"When you fell from heaven!"

"Ahaha, oh you're so funny!" _Oh my God he actually said a pick-up line to me._

"Ohonhonhonhon"

"Anyways, I should be heading back to my room.." _Take the bait, old man._

_"_Hm? Oh yes, it is getting pretty late. Would you like me to walk you?" Canada smiled.

"That would be lovely!"

The two talked and Seychelles hurried to the hotel room for her position. He'd never see it coming!  
Canada talked nonsense as he said his name was Sheniqua (for some reason it was the fist name that popped in his head) and that he came from Brazil (also popped in his head).

As soon as they got to the motel room, Canada put on a fake smile. "Would you like to come in? You've been so kind to me." Of course, the Frenchman couldn't resist. "Oui, thank you very much, mon cher!"

Seychelles took her cur and leaped from nowhere, tackling France to the ground. Canada stumbled as he reached for the ropes and threw them at Seychelles so she could bind him.

"L-Let go of me! Kidnappers! I'll have you both arrested and- Seychelles?" As soon as the little figure became less blurry, he recognized his former colony's grinning face.

"Goddamn, Seychelles, the hell did you get this wig? It's itchy." As soon as Canada saw that France was immobile, he took of the fake wig.

"Party City. Hey, what's with that look? It was cheap and it looked good. You might want to wash that make-up off too. It's dollar-store stuff."

France gaped. "C-Canada? Mon Dieu you two, you gave me a heart-attack. You're prank was so cruel." He made a dramatic sigh. "Can you let big brother go?" Seychelles and Canada exchanged grins.

"Nope! Sorry, papa, we have to do this. We're just going to see how long you can stand without sex and good food!"

France gasped. "Mon Dieu, now you really crossed a line! Let me go right now or else. Besides, I'm strong, I can't break that easily." He smirked. "I'll starve before you're satisfied."

"Oh don't worry, you won't starve!" Canada bounded over to the night table before kicking off the high heels. He came back with warm scones and fried fish. "We asked England to make you some of his food! Plus we left from America-England Doujin-porn-thing on top of the television for you! Not that you can get it, anyways, hahahaha!" Him and Seychelles laughed as France wiggled like a caterpillar in his ropes.

"Do you want me to die?! His food is made with dirt and shit!" Seychelles smiled.  
"You have no idea..." Canada sighed.

"Ok, France! So we are gonna leave you here until you break, okay? Don't worry, we won't let anything bad happen to you." Seychelles cooed.

France paused for a moment. "Why is there a picture of England in a sexy waiter costume on the ceiling?"

Canada smiled. "It speeds up the time."

Canada and Seychelles set up their cameras as France wailed and wiggle about. They left as soon as he was trying to take off his clothes against a cabinet.

Seychelles and Canada huddled in the room over and set up their computers. France was sill wailing and wiggling knocked over a few things as he tried to get the doujin, He wasn't successful and a glass fell on him. For the next fifteen minuets he just stared at the photo of England pitifully. After an hour or so, (Canada got bored of his flailing and stopped watching) Seychelles noticed France was trying to break the window and jump out. Luckily he wasn't very strong.

The two younger finally went over and untied France who was bawling his eyes out.

_So, France had a interesting reaction, huh? We uploaded the survalence camera footage on Facebook. Of course, England was their to mock him. France came online and told him that he ate shit, so it wasn't much different. Seychelles got yelled at by France, and guess what? She's eating all of my maple syrup! I need to get rid of these freeloaders soon or else... I'll see you all soon!_

_A/N: So yeah, I really am getting a bit stuck. If anyone has any ideas or OC's that want to be featured in here, please PM or leave a review for me! Either way I'll read it :) I Love you all!  
_


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